Cathy Heller is a bestselling author, sought-after speaker, and host of the widely acclaimed The Cathy Heller Podcast (formerly Don’t Keep Your Day Job), which has garnered millions of downloads. Known for her warmth, authenticity, and actionable insights, Cathy helps people tap into their potential to create lives of fulfillment and abundance.
Her latest book, Abundant Ever After: Tools for Creating a Life of Prosperity and Ease, redefines what it means to live a rich and meaningful life, blending her personal experiences, spiritual wisdom, and practical strategies into one book. Over the past decade, Cathy has coached thousands of individuals, led transformational retreats, and built a multimillion-dollar business while maintaining her dedication to joy, connection, and purpose.
A frequent guest on top podcasts and a collaborator with thought leaders like Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson, Cathy is celebrated for her ability to inspire and empower audiences with her approachable, down-to-earth style. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, three daughters, and a pair of mischievous cats.
1) One of the many things I appreciate about your book Abundant Ever After is that it redefines abundance as a state of being rather than focusing on material success. For readers unfamiliar with this concept, how would you describe the first steps to experiencing abundance in everyday life?
First of all, I love that you pulled that out of it. People pull all different things out of the book, and I’ve done a bunch of interviews, but no one has said that yet, which is really cool that you grasp that because I do think we’ve put the mind on such a pedestal that we forget that a lot of the wisdom is not in the mind, but in the heart. The amygdala is built to protect us, so it constantly scans for danger. It perceives the world through this lens of believing that there is separation in the world, and the false notion that the more we can make ourselves bigger externally, the more we will feel bigger internally. So people think if they just have a bigger pile of things, if they can have more money, if they can have a bigger car, if they can have a bigger house, they will feel bigger on the inside.
The thing about it, though, is we have way bigger dreams than that. Our true deepest desire is not for a pile of stuff, but it’s to feel a sense of being in flow, to feel peace, to feel the lightness of our own beingness, to feel connected to all that is not traditional success, but I think what we really want is significance. All of that is not outside of us. All of that which is the most incredible thing we could ever dream of comes from tuning into the mystical within us, the part of us that has equanimity, the part of us that has this wisdom, the part of us that doesn’t have to impress anyone because it has this innate wholeness.
When you think about human beings you’ve interacted with—the most impressive people—it’s not their pedigree, where they went to college that impresses you. It’s not the car they drive. It’s their energy. If they’re in a place where there’s a lightness in their being, there’s an openness, there’s a lovingness, there’s a reception in who they are, they make space for other people, there’s a peacefulness, it’s palpable. Those are the most impressive things in humanity. We literally live in an infinite field of energy, because energy is everything. Atoms are made of energy. It’s all moving. It’s all waves. It’s all vibration. We emit a vibration and a frequency at all times. If you throw a small rock in a pond, you make a small ripple. But if you throw a big rock, you make a really big ripple, and when our energy is loving, and we’re connected not to our mind but to our heart, we just put everything at ease around us, and we feel a sense of abundance immediately. We become the recipient of that abundance immediately. So I often ask people, “Why would you wait for something to happen externally when you could just feel good right now?” The answer to that is, of course, because we’re pretty addicted to cortisol, which is a natural pharmaceutical that we’re supplying ourselves in our own mind from stress, and it becomes addictive. It’s kind of like being on a people mover in the airport and then getting off, and you kind of want to get back on it because you don’t even know how to downshift into a state of peace. You get addicted to that feeling of pressure, and that’s why it takes people three days to actually show up on the vacation they’re on.
We’re all on this journey together, trying to settle down our addiction to stress and pressure. What I like to share or remind people is that what feels like slowing down at first when you are being mindful is actually a red herring because when a person is actually accessing the flow state, their mind moves into gamma. Scientists believe that gamma is faster than the speed of light. That’s why when people are in flow, whether it’s Michael Jordan after he meditated with Phil Jackson and gets on the court, or whether it’s Michelangelo with a paintbrush, or Tom Petty and a guitar, the reason they create from this place is because it’s true consciousness. So, what’s exciting is that ‘over the rainbow’ you go when you set down the cortisol, and you get to replace that with a much more stimulating thing, which is gamma. When you’re in gamma, you’re not slow. If you see a monk sitting still, what’s happening inside of them is the equivalent of having an orgasm. The reason that feels so good is your mind moves into gamma, which is why you can create life from that place. That’s how fast the electricity is moving in your body. So what looks like slow, it’s the opposite! It’s actually our fear, doubt, and shame, all of those things that make us slow. This is why when people get more in the mind and, let’s say, they’re overthinking something … cortisol is just dripping through them. What feels like it’s giving you pressure is actually slowing you down. So if you really want stimulation, and you really want to be able to move like Jordan on the court, you slow down to speed up.
Dr. Lisa Miller did a study where she did fMRIs on monks’ brains, and there was very little brain activity because all our wisdom comes from the field around us. Einstein said that when used properly, the mind becomes an antenna for something beyond the mind. It’s operating in the infinite field. This is why people like Elton John will say, “I don’t know where the melody came from. It was just a download.” Suppose you want to clear the browser history on the amygdala and open up the field to what is within your perception, when you get beyond your limited mind. You move into heart coherence. Let’s say you do Kundalini breathing for an hour and a half; you’re going to perceive so much stimulation, you’re going to get ideas and insight that you realize that it is so worth moving out of your cortisol drip … because the speed at which you will create, and the speed at which you will feel alive and electric, is there waiting for you.
2) In your new book, you also challenge traditional notions of success. How do you define success, and how can people begin to redefine it for themselves?
I think that people say that they want success, but what they really want is significance. You want to feel significant, right? I think that we have this part of us that’s wired into thinking that if we get enough gold stars and achieve enough, we’ll somehow prove the worthiness of our own existence. I think about my children, and we have a cat; it’s like my cat is making us all feel at ease because he’s okay in his beingness. He’s not trying to achieve anything and that’s why he feels so good to be around. My eight-year-old is not trying to achieve anything. She’s just okay in her enoughness right now, which is real success. Real success is the feeling of knowing that you are whole. Then, the really cool part is that you understand that real success is your own inner peace. Real success is your own remembering that the most impressive thing about a person is love. The most impressive person you’ll ever meet is the most loving.
We are all overqualified to be loving and empathetic. My grandmother, who didn’t go to school past the fifth grade, never accomplished “anything” in her career. We used to go to the grocery store, and she would ask the clerk, “Did you have your hug today?” And the person would be like, “Are you crazy?” And then she’d be like, “Come on, it’s time for your hug.” People would burst into tears. She had this way of making everybody feel that they were the most important thing in the world. I’ve come to understand that whoever you are in front of is the most important thing. I think we all believe that we’re meant to change the world, and then we give up because we think it’s impossible. My rabbi said to me, “No, you’re meant to change the world for one person, every day.”
When you see your life, your day, wherever you are, if you remember you are always in the right place at the right time, and your assignment is to be the most present version of yourself, to soak up as much gratitude as you can for your heartbeat, for the 25 shades of green outside your window, and for whoever is in front of you, whether you need to help them or learn from them—whether it’s the crossing guard, or the guy at the bus stop, or the person who’s giving you your coffee—you will come to find out that life is so magical. You will always be successful because success is not about getting some accolade. Success is about going to sleep every night, feeling that you did your soul’s assignment, that you were present when you were with your kids, and that you saw the beauty on your walk today and didn’t miss it. It’s never the big moments. That’s a dopamine chaser. Do you know what’s better than dopamine? Serotonin. When does serotonin show up? All day long when you are present for every freaking moment of your life.
My dad died in July. It happened to be that in hospice, they moved him into his office in his house because that’s where they could set up the hospice bed. On the wall, there is his degree from Johns Hopkins, another one from Colombia, and all of these things that he achieved. He was holding my hand, and he said, “Do you see those degrees?” and they were right in front of where his bed was. He goes, “You’re my greatest achievement.” And he goes, “I spent so much time chasing these things and I missed out on so much time with you and your sister because I thought that these things would make me successful. I’m fighting for more days because I just want to sit in this room with you.” It was so obviously true. It was so clear to all of us in that room that success is fully being available to love someone else, and to really let them love you back. When you do that, you feel full. It starts with loving all that is. It starts with understanding that there’s a beauty even in pain, and that pain turns to wisdom. My mindfulness teacher used to say, “Have coffee with yourself every morning and invite every part of you to join.” Invite the parts of you that are flawed, the parts of you that are brave, the parts of you that are broken, and the parts of you that are beautiful because everything we are is exactly what makes us so lovable.
When you realize that love is not earnable, it just is, you stop chasing it, and instead, you start being it, and then you start giving it because it is at the fundamental base of who we are. We can give that love away, and we can receive it, and then the most amazing things happen with it. Ideas happen, connections happen, and your day feels so successful because it’s not about how much you can achieve to make yourself feel like you are ‘more.’ It’s about how much you can know that ‘I am’ and how much of that you can give to someone else so that they know how much they are.
3) Another concept from the book that resonated with me is that abundance is about receiving rather than striving. If someone is accustomed to hustle culture, what advice would you give them to start embracing this approach?
When I went to Israel after college, I thought it would be nice to check off my list. I would just be there for a couple of weeks and then leave. Of course, I kept extending my trip. Ultimately, I spent three years learning in Israel and Jerusalem because the gifts I received were unbelievable. It reset the software in my mind.
The very first thing that I learned that completely changed my world was the idea of receiving. It was because of this rabbi who lives in the old city, Rabbi David Aaron. He told me that the word Kabbalah means to receive. He said the point of life is to receive and to expand. He said, “If you have a light bulb, some can receive 45 watts, but some can receive 75 watts. And what you want to be is the kind of light bulb that can receive the most amount of light.” What does that mean? It means that all that’s been created is already here in the infinite field. We experience a day as 24 hours because of the Earth and the Sun’s rotation. But a day on Jupiter is nine hours and 58 minutes because of its relationship to the Sun. If you move beyond our solar system, time evaporates completely.
So what I’m saying is there is no time. This means that in the majority of this Universe, there is no time. So what does that mean? It means there’s nothing in the future that you can’t already tap into and receive right now because, from God’s perspective, the past, present, and future are all happening now. When you move out of range from the Sun and our planets, time is just now. It’s all one moment. The rabbi explained it this way, “It’s kind of like a radio that can tap into a song. Where was the music before you turned on the radio? The music is in the room already. It’s just hidden in plain sight.”
So, the idea of receiving is when we don’t move from our mind, but we move from our heart. We tune in. There’s nothing in the future that I need. I get to be fully freaking present and feel my heart beating and think of the people I get to love in my life. There’s nothing in my garden right now that’s rushing. Every tree is just receiving the photosynthesis of energy. I talk about this in the book, which I know can be controversial, but life is not meant to be hard; it’s not meant to be a struggle. When we do the one thing that is our job, which is to be in a state of positive well-being, the synchronicity takes care of itself. Gay Hendricks said this to me really well, “If you are a pilot these days, when you’re flying, the plane flies itself because of all the instruments. So, the pilot really worries about takeoff and landing, and then during the flight, the pilot is just making sure the plane doesn’t drift from the flight path. God takes care of takeoff and landing. We have no idea when we’re born. We have no idea when we’re going to be in our last moment. So, for our lifetime, our job is just to stay on the flight path.”
My book just came out, and it hit the USA Today bestseller list. I got so many calls from colleagues saying, “Are you okay? Are you drained? Are you exhausted?” I thought that was a really interesting question, and my response was the following, “Listen, I love the idea of getting excited about putting this book in the world, and I think it’s fun to set goals. However, for me, I surrender the outcomes because the outcomes are none of my business. My business is taking the shot, hitting the ball, showing up, throwing paint at the wall like Jackson Pollock … then what happens is I’m just enjoying getting to do the thing.”
I’m enjoying the fruits of writing the book. I’m enjoying stretching and seeing how much more capable I am than I thought. The effort becomes the gift, not the outcome. I was surprised that we hit the list because I didn’t tell my team that we needed to do that. I didn’t even know when they announced it. I never had asked Simon and Schuster when the list comes out. When it came out, I said, “Oh, that is exactly how you would manifest that—by letting it go.” I was having a blast doing whatever we were doing during book week.
If it’s all about the outcome, you’re never going to enjoy your life because you’re just going to go from one dopamine outcome to another outcome. What if you never make it? This means the whole thing is stressful, and then you’re clenching the whole time for the outcome. No, no, no. Set the goal. Enjoy it! Make yourself this fun obstacle course because when you’re a kid, you love solving problems. You love doing puzzles. But, the fun is in the moment, just being available for the curiosity of the project. When you let go of the outcome, you get the best of all the worlds.
4) Hustle culture aside, you are someone who has worked hard to build a successful business while prioritizing personal joy and connection. What’s one habit or mindset shift that has been most instrumental in maintaining that balance?
I feel like sometimes the reason people don’t make money in terms of business, and by the way, the difference between business and a hobby is economics. So, let’s talk about the money, because that’s a big part of business. I think the reason people sometimes don’t make money is because you can’t have more of something you have a horrible relationship with. A lot of times, people sabotage themselves because they have a lot of stuff in their heads about money. This means that if someone thinks that success is earned through hard work, they might put a ceiling on how much money they make because they believe in order for them to double their income, they’d have to sacrifice and work so much harder than they need to. When in reality, the people who are the most successful are the people who learn to scale.
Scaling means you’re working more ‘on’ your business than ‘in’ your business. Over time, it’s actually less of a hustle when you’re making more money. So, one mindset shift is scaling. The other is that people have this weird shame that if they make more money, they feel like they might lose integrity, and all of a sudden, they will be a terrible person. That is so pervasive, it’s unbelievable.
Abundance creates more abundance. So when you open a shop on Main Street, you just created abundance for everybody else to now open their shops. That’s why two gas stations that are next to each other do better, even though they’re both on the same street. Or if you paint your house, you just made your neighbor’s house go up in value, too. Abundance is literally that impactful. It immediately creates more abundance. There’s no reason to shy away from expanding because you become a steward of more wealth in the world. There’s no reason for you to think that you will have more to do. It really becomes about leadership at a certain point. The more money you have, it means the more you are awakening other people to the leadership that’s inside of themselves, because that’s the only way that you’re going to double and triple what you have—is by actually setting down controls and doing less.
So what makes you your first hundred grand, or your first million, the way you’re going to triple it, and quadruple it, is by actually bringing in support and having a greater vision that other people can be a part of. Then you’re doing less of the work and more of the visioning. Those are the reasons people stop themselves from expanding, and I think these are really important concepts to explore.
5) For someone looking to take just one step today toward living with more ease and abundance, what is something you recommend that can be immediately put into practice?
There is so much abundance in the most unbelievable, extraordinary ways. When my gardener comes on Wednesdays, I say to my kids, “Who’s going to run and get the cold drinks out of the fridge,” and then they all want to get to do it because the second somebody hands these two gardeners, these cold drinks, the smile that they get in return, it just makes you want to cry. It costs so little to do, and they experience abundance by giving. It’s like if you want more love, give more love away. If you want more friends, be a friend. We think it’s all outside of us. We don’t realize how powerful we are. I feel like everywhere I go, I love that I can love another person more into life and make them feel more seen and alive.
When my dad died, we went out to dinner after sitting Shiva for a week. We were at a sushi restaurant, and I bought dessert for a couple sitting next to us. One of them said, “I want to thank you, give me your Instagram.” So she followed me on Instagram, and she texted me two hours later, “Do you know what you did when you bought us dessert? You don’t even know me.” I’m like, “No.” She goes, “You didn’t know that I’m a widow. And this is my first date in five years since my husband died.” She was only 41, so she was a young widow. She said, “When you gave us that dessert, I felt like you have no idea how meaningful that was. It was so scary to go on this date.” And then that was like a nudge from the Universe to go on the date. So, I said to her, “My dad died July 3rd, and this is my first night out since sitting Shiva.” And she said, “Isn’t that interesting? My husband died on July 3rd, 5 years ago.” And you know what? I feel so abundant when things like that happen. I feel like people miss those moments all the time because instead of being in the sushi restaurant thinking, “What’s right next to you right there?” You’re sitting there, and part of you subconsciously thinks, “All my success is in the future. My success and abundance can only be achieved if I do more and/or do something else. If only I had my big break.” Listen, your big break is showing up and being the most loving version of yourself in every moment for no reason.
A friend of mine, somebody randomly told her about this thing at the hospital where you can be with people who have no family or friends during their final days. It’s called NODA: No One Dies Alone. She’s like, “Okay.” But then openly asks, “Why did I sign up for this? This is so heavy.” Then they pair her with this man who’s dying of cancer, who she doesn’t know. She comes to see him every day for three weeks. She finds it super meaningful. Most of the time, he’s not conscious. Some of the time he’s a little conscious. She’s just sitting by his bedside, and a few times, they do exchange some words.
When he died, she was so sad. She was bawling. She called her mother and said to her mom, “I don’t know why, but this experience changed my life.” Her mother happened to say, “What was the name of the man?” My friend told her mom the man’s name. Her mom said, “You’re not going to believe this, but he’s the OBGYN that delivered you.” She said, “I think it is astonishing that he brought you into this world, and there was nobody when he was dying to be there, but you came back.” I’m telling you, you cannot make this stuff up. It doesn’t make any logical sense. Just hearing that story changed my life. I can’t even imagine how she feels.
So, what is abundance? Is it 5,000 more followers on Instagram? Is it a million-dollar deal, or is it a moment like that when you go, “Oh my God, the world is made of magic, and I get to be opening the door to magic by recognizing that I have the power to do something significant every day. And when I do, I’m blown away by how rewarded I am.”
We’re all filled with gifts. We often don’t access our gifts because we’re so hard on ourselves. We’re surrounded by opportunities. We don’t access these opportunities because we do not allow ourselves to see them. This is what the rabbi means when he says, “Turn on the radio. It’s all hidden in plain sight.” The number of opportunities we have to have all the delight we need in the world is extraordinary. It’s all available. And when we recognize our real power, which is being heart-centered, soul-centered, and awake and alive in every moment, it’s uncanny. Everything will happen! You’ll wind up using all of your gifts and meeting all the coolest people. And to me, when this happens, these are the most successful days, which leads to the most successful life.
