This special edition marks the 100th post in the thought leader interview series. For this interview, I asked five respected individuals that have helped me in some way with my upcoming book (about the science of fun) to submit a question they have about fun. The book, The Fun Habit, launches at the end of 2021.
1) [Ursa Bratun] On the assumption that set-point theory can be applied to fun, what do you think was the strategy (or insight) that helped you reset your set point for fun the most?
For those not familiar with the concept of set-point theory (sometimes called the Hedonic Treadmill), set-point theory is an empirically validated, observed tendency that we begin to enjoy things less when they become habitual or routine.
I use a couple of strategies to mitigate any formation of a set-point. First, I deploy something I have coined variable hedonics. This is a fancy way of saying that I try not to let things get stale. I also try to have a bias toward having fun through experience rather than things. Finding fun through experience has two benefits. One, it is tough to “adapt” to engaging in experiences. It is highly unlikely two experiences are ever going to be the same (making it unlikely that a set-point would get established). Two, experiences are less subject to social comparison for the same reason. Since fun experiences are usually unique and ephemeral, there is no real way to “adapt” to them (which is how set-points get established).
Second, I try to be as mindful as possible when I am having fun. Science suggests that many of us get more perceived pleasure through the anticipation of something fun than the actual engagement. The metaphor commonly used in literature is the slot machine or the scrolling of a social media feed. We think we are enjoying the experience, but what is really happening is that we are getting excited about the anticipation of something in the future. With practice, we can connect to what brings us joy in a meaningful way and derive our pleasure from the experience itself. With this approach, the set-point becomes irrelevant because there is no need for comparison or reference points. In this way, I look at each moment of fun as a unique gift.
2) [David Moldawer] How do you motivate yourself and your loved ones to try having fun at a very low moment?
The first step is to acknowledge that you likely have more agency to improve your situation than you believe. When you are caught up in a low moment, it can be challenging to take pause. If you can empower yourself to make a little space in these moments, you will discover that a simple reframe can usually change the situation.
The example I usually give is my and my wife’s routine with our children. I think for many parents getting our kids out the door in the morning can prove difficult, making it is easy to get frustrated. My wife and I used to approach this duty with a degree of militance. No one was having fun, and the four of us often started our day pretty miserable. The motivation to change was that we had created a sucky situation for all of us, and we wanted that to be different. So, we decided to approach the situation with more whimsy. Although it didn’t alter objective outcomes all that much (e.g., many days it is still hard for us to get the kids to put their shoes on), our mornings are now a lot more fun.
3) [Hayley Riggs McGhee] How have you set about incorporating what you’ve learned about fun into your everyday routines? Was it a situation where you made quick, radical changes or just eased into it?
It was more of the latter for me. That said, I think either approach can work depending on the individual’s style. I have titled my upcoming book, The Fun Habit. The title essentially means having a bias toward fun. The way I have incorporated what I have learned about fun into my every day routines is always trying to have a bias toward having fun, as well as supporting a fun environment for those around me.
4) [Sara Grace] On some level, does fun need to be spontaneous? Is choreographed fun inevitably contrived?
I do not believe fun needs to spontaneous. On the contrary, through research and interviews, I have found that those who are deliberate about fun (e.g., scheduling fun into their calendars, spending the time to identify what is truly fun, etc.) make more space for fun to occur. Since “contrived” means “deliberately created,” then I suppose by definition “choreographed fun” does fit this definition.
It does appear that individuals that have a skew towards spontaneity may be happier. As such, spontaneity is likely a fun factor, but I can’t entirely agree with the assertion that fun needs to be spontaneous, but rather that spontaneity is undoubtedly a useful tool in having more fun.
5) [Bryan Wish] What’s the biggest lesson you have learned through your journey over the past decade or so that you would share with someone standing in your shoes?
The biggest lesson I have learned in the last decade is the concept of “time affluence.” We live in a world of productivity and hustle porn. In most of the Western world, we are brought up to believe affluence simply means having an abundance of wealth—having enough money to do whatever we please. Too many of us are forsaking fun and happiness to chase this definition of “affluent.” As such, we find ourselves time-poor and unhappy. A new interpretation of affluence has emerged reframing the concept as having enough time—as juxtaposed with money—to do the things we want. A recent Gallup poll suggests that more than half of those us who are employed don’t feel we have the time to do the things we want. In my opinion, without time to spend money, money loses some of its value.
That’s been the biggest lesson for me, to respect my time as much, if not more, than my money. This is especially true for me since I put a high value on fun, and autonomy over your time is an essential part of having fun.