Think about the last few advertisements you’ve seen promoting something labeled as “fun.” What comes to mind? I bet I can guess: bold capital letters, colorful text on a vivid background, eye-catching shapes, and a number of exclamation points some may consider excessive.
In Western cultures specifically, we have been trained to associate extroversion and hyperarousal with the word “fun” and overall happiness. Unfortunately, for many of us, this attachment to hyperarousal seems to extend to who we consider fun as well. Enter the Jungian-esque battle of extroverts vs. introverts, in which extrovertedness has become synonymous with fun. In contrast, introverts and fun seem to be related via opposition only.
Extrovert or introvert: perceptions in society
The idea that Western society favors extroverts and extroversion is well-realized. Anecdotally, loud and outgoing people—traits generally associated with extroverts—seem to dominate. Students who do well in groups (another extrovert characteristic) tend to receive better grades. For instance, Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, describes Harvard Business School as the “spiritual home of extroversion,” awarding students who talk fastest and loudest and take the limelight. In contrast, individuals who are quiet and enjoy solitude are often regarded as odd, boring, or even antisocial—and definitely not fun (rooted in perception, not fact).
When we compare the adjectives used to describe extroverts vs. introverts, the extroverts have it. For example, “sociable, lively, active, assertive, carefree, dominant, venturesome, and sensation-seeking” are all words with a generally positive connotation, and they are all on the extrovert list. On the other hand, introverts are often described as low-energy, aloof, distant, party-poopers, or people-haters. And the positive perceptions of extroverts expand to areas beyond mere descriptives.
Research, for one, often makes an association between extroversion and happiness or a positive mood. For example, one study found that extroverts are generally happier than introverts and have higher-quality relationships. In another study, William Fleeson of Wake Forest University studied the behavior of introverts and extroverts in everyday life by instructing participants to act either extrovertedly or introvertedly during a 10-minute discussion. Afterward, he recorded individuals’ levels of positive emotions. Participants consistently reported feeling happier after they acted extrovertedly, causing Fleeson to conclude that when non-extroverts play the extrovert part, they become happier regardless of their Meyers-Briggs personality profile.
Wait a minute, though. While it seems certain personality traits may affect our well-being, in a happiness study by Peter Hills and Michael Argyle from the School of Psychology, Oxford Brookes University, 33 percent of their “happy” respondents were introverts—which may imply that introverts and fun aren’t so oppositional after all.
The rise of (understanding) the ambivert
Maybe it’s how we decide to frame things? One issue regarding any arguments about introverts and fun is the discourse inherently assumes there is a discrete distinction between introversion and extroversion, when the truth is most people fall somewhere in the middle of the intro-extro spectrum. Given a Western preference for hyperarousal, we know we feel a bias towards extroversion for a reason. Justin Thomas, Associate Professor of Psychology at Zayed University, UAE, writes how the extrovert ideal is being overemphasized, particularly in some cultures and settings. The general tendency, especially in the United States, is to create places and spaces for hyper-sociable people. Think (pre-COVID) open office plans, attention-grabbing installations, and packed-to-the-brim shopping centers.
The reality is that even though we’re sold extroversion, most of us are middle-of-the-roaders: the ambiverts. While we are so busy comparing extroversion and introversion as a significant, somewhat polarizing dimension of personality (and fun-having), the reality that most of us fall in between the two gets lost in the commotion. In reality, almost all of us are fueled by prosocial behavior and time alone. In fact, psychologists estimate between 50 and 75 percent of the population fall into this category and possess both introverted and extroverted characteristics. In this context, the introversion and extroversion labels are a bit dangerous because they force us to label one another in unhealthy ways.
Instead of labeling people (and ourselves) extroverts or introverts (or worse, fun or un-fun), let’s instead celebrate that we’re a lot more alike than the dichotomy of introversion and extroversion portrays. On paper, I’m an extrovert, and my wife is an introvert. If you’ve listened to me on podcasts, you’ve undoubtedly heard me go on about how I enjoy high-arousal activities like heavy metal concerts, while my wife’s idea of fun is low-arousal activities like reading historical fiction. However, finding things we can enjoy together has been fun fertilizer for some of our fondest memories.
Instead of labeling yourself an introvert or extrovert, try reframing yourself an ambivert and plan something fun with someone you enjoy being with who has different tastes than you. Inviting new options into your life that you might not choose yourself often leads to amazing memories you might never have been exposed to otherwise.
Sources and Further Reading:
Amiel, Tel, and Stephanie Lee Sargent. “Individual differences in Internet usage motives.” Computers in Human Behavior no. 6 (2004): 711-726. https://lapastillaroja.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/IndividualDifferencesInInternetUsageMotivesAmiel.pdf
Bernstein, Elizabeth. “Not an introvert, not an extrovert? You might be an ambivert.” Wall Street Journal. July 27, 2015. https://www.wsj.com/articles/not-an-introvert-not-an-extrovert-you-may-be-an-ambivert-1438013534
Cabello, Rosario, and Pablo Fernandez-Berrocal. “Under which conditions can introverts achieve happiness? Mediation and moderation effects of the quality of social relationships and emotion regulation ability on happiness.” Ed. Ada Zohar. PeerJ 3 (2015): e1300.
Cain, Susan. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Broadway Paperbacks, 2012.
Fleeson, William, Malanos, Adriane B., and Achille, Noelle M. “An intraindividual process approach to the relationship between extraversion and positive affect: Is acting extraverted as “good” as being extraverted?.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 83, no. 6 (2002): 1409-1422. http://personality-project.org/revelle/syllabi/classreadings/fleeson.2002.pdf
Hills, Peter, and Michael Argyle. “Happiness, introversion-extraversion and happy introverts.” Personality and Individual Differences 30, no. 4 (2001): 595-608.
Mahmoodi Kahriz, B., Bower, J.L., Glover, F.M.G.Q. et al. “Wanting to Be Happy but Not Knowing How: Poor Attentional Control and Emotion-Regulation Abilities Mediate the Association Between Valuing Happiness and Depression.” J Happiness Stud 21, 2583–2601 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-019-00193-9
Thomas, Justin. “Introverts must not be lost amid the noise made by extroverts.” The National, December 24, 2013. https://www.thenational.ae/introverts-must-not-be-lost-amid-noise-made-by-extroverts-1.263498
