Gary Ware is the founder of Breakthrough Play, a consultancy that helps professionals and companies “level up” through the power of play. When Gary is not doing improv or working with others to better integrate play into their lives, he is speaking on the topic of play. His most recent presentation on the subject is a TEDx talk called How Play Saved My Life.
1) In your TEDx talk about play you reference one of my favorite Brian Sutton-Smith quotes, “The opposite of play is not work, it is depression.” What makes this such an important admission?
For me personally, it is the value that play brings. Prior to learning about the benefits of play, I thought burnout was a badge of honor. I would hear quotes like, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” This was especially true when I was a director at a digital marketing agency. The culture there is hustle, hustle, hustle, and you save play for the weekends (if at all). So to me, the quote is an understanding that play and work can go hand-in-hand, and if you’re not playing at all, then you’re likely suffering. That was a big eye-opener for me.
2) There is a distinction between viewing play as escapism or viewing play as an opportunity for renewal. Why is mindset so important as we think about play?
Mindset is so important as it pertains to play. Something I learned from researcher Jane McGonigal, when play is used for escapism—to escape from doing something, or because you don’t have the will to do it—play becomes a tool for procrastination. Learning this was a big eye-opener because it suggests there is very fine line between purpose-driven play and play as vehicle for escapism.
When I’m working with companies and individuals, helping them recalibrate play into their life, first thing that I tell them to do is focus on awareness. I have them document whenever they feel they’re engaging in playful activities, that way we can evaluate if the play is restoring or potentially something else that’s not as helpful.
3) As you know, fun is my thing. What I love about fun in the context of play is that, in my opinion, fun provides almost all of the benefits of flow without the constraints of hyperfocus and goal-orientation (although fun is certainly not mutually exclusive to these two constructs). How do you view fun’s associative role in play?
It is OK to have a desired outcome, but the outcome shouldn’t be your end goal. Instead, hopefully, pleasure is derived from the process. Better yet, what if you can develop this mindset at your work? I cannot speak specifically to the distinction between the two; however, I can say from my work that great stuff comes from people having fun.
4) Homeostasis is inherent in the human condition and, as such, as we deprioritize fun and play as adults it becomes harder to reconnect to these important aspects of our well-being. We both advocate for making sure fun and play gets on one’s calendar. What are a few more tips you have to break this homeostasis?
First thing is allowing yourself to be open to something new. I was just at the INBOUND Conference and attended a session by Eric Bailey. He was there discussing his book “The Cure for Stupidity.” It’s a catchy title, but when he gets into the meat of the material, his message is really more about awareness. Bailey suggests that we view ourselves and others as stupid, primarily on a preconception that we deem this individual to be stupid—and often we get it wrong. I use this lesson to illustrate that if we don’t mindfully raise our awareness, if we don’t feel like we need to learn anything, we’re not going to be open to new ideas that can help us. So my first suggestion is to lift your awareness. Have a growth mindset. Ask yourself questions like, “Could this be beneficial?” instead of being closed to the idea at the onset.
I like testing, so I ask myself questions like, “How can we approach this from an experimentation standpoint?” A lot of adults I work with, they like this approach because it feels less permanent. Trying something new that goes against our homeostasis presents a change and doesn’t feel good. That is why changing habits can prove difficult. However, if you approach integrating more play in your life from an experimentation mindset, asking questions like, “Oh, you know what? Let me try this out. If it doesn’t serve me, I can try something new.” That’s an important first step.
The next thing is, pulling work from Dr. Stuart Brown, Brown talks about “play personalities.” Brown’s work proves interesting in the context of the benefits of play because when most of us think of play, we think of competitive play, or we think of sports, yet there are so many different aspects of play. As such, understanding your “play personality” is extremely important. To do this, Brown suggests doing a play history where you go back into your childhood and think about, “What did you do for play?” This one person that I was working with, up until we started working together, she viewed play as sport and physical activity. As we dug deeper, we discovered she used to read as a form of play. She used to go deep into her imagination while reading, and that was play for her. When you find something that served you as a child, there’s a good chance that it may serve you in a similar fashion as an adult.
5) Wrapping up everything we’ve just discussed, why is it so important to give ourselves “permission to play”?
We are on this planet for such a short period of time. If everything that you’re doing is specifically goal-oriented with no focus on bringing joy to yourself and to others, when you get to the end of your life you’re likely going to look back on it and regret you didn’t enjoy things more. This is my opinion, but also somewhat validated by the work of Bronnie Ware surveying the regrets of those at the end of life; it appears that most of us—in the long run—would greatly benefit from giving ourselves permission to play more.
As humans, we are wired to play. Needing to play is in our DNA. We need play for connection, for growth. There are so many benefits that play brings. Yet, the demands of modern society have deemphasized play. So, I feel like it is important that we bring play back into the conversation—bring play to a higher level of consciousness. There is too much “us versus them” out there. There is some of that in play, too, but in constructive play you either celebrate those difference or let them go. There is unification in play because it creates a common ground.
